


Seeing Colors

by Sadlyamundane



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) RPF
Genre: M/M, Soulmates AU, alex is mentioned alot, i mean it's canon just with the added pressure of being soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: “look, I don’t think it’s too much of ask to have a conversation before we hook up” TK feels a tinge of guilt, it wasn’t too much to ask for, especially from a soulmate but TK didn’t want that, it was unfair to both of them, the universe’s cruel joke.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	Seeing Colors

**Author's Note:**

> I do not beta read or edit, so i am sorry for the grammar and spelling errors. There will be plenty.   
> Also this is my first full Tarlos fanfic, all comments and critics are welcomed.

Soulmates, the concept of them made TK feel uncomfortable. He didn't always feel that way of course, not until he met Alex. 

Alex was his soulmate, he was sure of it. But his world was still black and white and all shades of gray. Yet he loved him, and wanted to spend his life with Alex. His parents weren't soulmates but they still loved each other, his step mother wasn't his dads soulmate either but they had loved each other too, both relationship ended poorly so that should have clued TK in on the fact that you can't really make love work with someone that isn't yours to love forever.

Another thing that should have clued him in was the way Alex started to stare at the posters plasters in the subway, or the way he looked out the city at night, with renewed awe as if he's seeing it for the first time. "I've met my soulmate" Alex's had the decency to look guilty and TK couldn't hate him for it, he had found his soulmate and he was in love with him. 

TK pocketed the ring and found the closest dealer he could. As he doused the pills with a bottle of burning liquor he decides, soulmate or not. He won't look for love, it's a cruel thing to love and then lose it.

But TK’s life often never went the way he wanted. He hadn’t disliked the idea of moving to Austin, a change of scenery would be good for him, after all New York City held two years of memories with Alex, every corner felt tainted by loss. Apart from living with his dad, everything was great. The team, the station and even his therapist were great, things had begun to look for him, until the end of last call on their first day.

He stood beside the rig and watched his climb down the ladder with the baby in his hand. A proud feeling blossoming in his chest, his dad was his hero and watching him work up close always made Tk happy. “He’s an impressive guy”

“He’s my dad” He smiled and turned to the see the man beside him. It took him a second to regain his balance, he sure the earth had begun to shake beneath him. This couldn’t be right, this man, TK couldn’t remember his name, he said it earlier when they arrived on scene but TK wasn’t paying attention, he focused on getting to work, his man couldn’t possibly be his soulmate. He couldn’t be, but the blinding lights, hues of red and blue filled his vision. 

“TK common, we’re leaving” Mateo yelled from the truck. TK stumbled on his own feet as he retreated from this man, his soulmate. He could tell from the stunned look on the other man’s face that he was in disbelief too. 

By the time they reached the bar Michelle had invited the crew to, TK was in a much better mood, he was celebrating the impeccable first day he had with his team. He tried not to let the thought of soulmates and a very handsome man fill his mind. 

His eyes wondered the room, drinking in the vibrant colors of the room. He smiled as he watched the team, his dad expertly showing up Michelle and Mateo desperately try to teach Marjan and Paul how to move. 

“Hey” TK looked up and fuck, his soulmate was even more handsome than he had remember. He tried to not let his smile falter, this was no big deal, he wasn’t looking for love, not after Alex. 

He trained his eyes straight ahead, but his heart was screaming at him to look over again. A few moments passed between them, he was sure the other man had left until he spoke up “want to dance?”

And Tk couldn’t stop himself, he sure if he wanted to stop himself “yeah” he smiled and followed the other out to the dance floor. His body already moving in time to the rhythm. 

They move perfectly together and TK can’t stop smiling, he felt a lightness in his chest, he’s not ready to be in love again, he doesn’t want to be. But he likes his, he likes the way he learns his soulmates name, Carlos Reyes, he likes that his soulmate doesn’t talk about them being soulmates, even as they walk out of the bar and into warm Austin air. 

They exchange numbers and he likes the way that Carlos texts him to make sure he got home safely. He doesn’t want love, he’s not looking for it. He doesn’t allow himself to dwell of the feeling in his chest every time he sees Carlos on a call or the smile that ghosts his lips every time his phone screen lights up. 

Their first hook up is hot and sweaty, filled with lust and passion. There was clothes being ripped apart and teeth digging into skin. Tk had never felt his way before and he knew it was because the bond they shared. 

He has to pull himself away, remind his heart that he love, not again, he cannot open himself up to feel that aguish and pain. He wasn’t strong enough to let another person in, not even the person that the universe decide completed him. 

“You’re really good at that” Carlos’ voice sounds far away and filled with bliss. TK smriks, he loved having that affect on his partner not that Carlos was his partner, he had to remind himself. He was just a guy. He was just a guy that made TK’s heart flutter and muddles his mind. “You’re not so bad yourself” he swiped an orange from Carlos’ fruit bowl and went in search of the rest of his clothes. 

“Wow, you’re not even going to catch your breath?” Carlos looks at him with soft brown eyes and TK has to will himself to not fall back to the couch with him. He makes up an excuse about work, that’s believable, he did have a shift later on that day. He lies and doges Carlos’ attempts to get him to stay longer and doesn’t even bother with a proper good bye. Carlos isn’t supposed his soulmate. Soulmate is Alex, Alex who he still loves, even though the thought of him doesn’t leave the fluttering in his chest like the thought of Carlos does. 

Work wasn’t a good distraction from his internal battles, he can’t focus, he can’t think. The thoughts of Carlos floods his brain and when the text comes later than night he’s a little more than happy, happier than he cares to be. 

The moment the door swings open, he pushes himself onto Carlos, kissing him and pushing him back into the house. The kiss is messy as his hands worked to undo the buttons of Carlos’ shirt, impatience gets the better of him and he rips a few buttons lose. “take a breath tiger” Carlos is looking at him with those beautiful warm eyes and apart of TK is glad that his world is filled with color. 

“You’re the one that called me over” Midnigth calls are usually for just a quick hook up, nothing more.  
But again, life never gave TK an easy out. “Yeah I did” Carlos’ voice is soft as he smiles. TK loves the way he smiles, and he fights himself to stop feeling for Carlos. Carlos looks past him and TK’s eyes follows, to the kitchen where a candles were lit and glasses of champagne were filled. 

Carlos’ hands fit perfectly in his and he lead TK to the kitchen and sits him down. He’s saying something but TK’s not listening, he can’t he’s too focus on schooling the sour feeling and the dread. 

Carlos made him dinner, Carlos his soulmate made him dinner. Carlos who the universe decided that TK belongs with, who he fits with, uneven though he doesn’t know anything about him. He doesn’t want anything Carlos because getting to know someone, opening up and falling in love meant heartbreak was inevitable. Heartbreak and Alex, his soulmate, the guy is love and Carlos doesn’t fit, Carlos isn’t supposed to be one that made him see colors.

Carlos offers him the champagne “none for me thanks” even though he’s smiling he knows Carlos has noticed the shift in the mood. But still he doesn’t mention it, instead he talks about the food and the fish. 

“Damn, I’d didn’t ask if you even like fish” Carlos frowns and sets a tray of bread on the table.

“This feels like a whole thing” 

“you mean dinner?” Carlos frowns and it hurts to look at the sadness in his eyes and TK has to remind himself to be selfish, to put himself first, he needed to protect his own heart. 

“I thought we clear about everything” He honestly didn’t know where they stood, he knew Carlos was his soulmate and he knew from the immense research he did when he first met Alex that everyone had one soulmate, some people went their lives without seeing vibrant colors of the world, and if you saw someone and vails lifted, that person saw the same thing too, so he was Carlos’ soulmate too. 

He never asked how this made Carlos feel or what any of this meant to him, he was preoccupied with protecting his own heart. And a part of him knew he was being cruel but he couldn’t let his guard down, not again. “I’m not looking for this” 

“I’m sorry” Carlos is beautiful under the soft glow of the lights that hung above his table “but I don’t do this often” if life wasn’t cruel, maybe they could have had something more than quick hook ups and unwanted feelings. 

“clearly”

“look, I don’t think it’s too much of ask to have a conversation before we hook up” TK feels a tinge of guilt, it wasn’t too much to ask for, especially from a soulmate but TK didn’t want that, it was unfair to both of them, the universe’s cruel joke.

“It’s a little late for that don’t you think?” He mumbles, the pain and hurt that flashes across Carlos’ face makes him regrets his words but he can’t stop himself from going on “look, I just got out of a bad relationship. I’m not looking to jump into another one”

“It’s a meal TK, not a marriage proposal” Carlos’ eyes are cold and suddenly he’s thousands of millions away, back in the New York, back in Alex’s favorite restaurant, a ring box nestled deep into his pocket. His mind reels as he gets up, he doesn’t remember what is said, he just needs air, he needs to get out of the room before he suffocates. 

“Sorry for the misunderstanding” the door slams shut behind him. 

-  
Everything is great, the sky is clear blue and the sunshines brightly down on Austin but TK feels gray, it’s a different type of numbness. Work passes in a blur, the few incident that required the police involvement, he looking, looking for the familiar face than had eased some of the gray nothingness out of his chest. 

He doesn’t know why he went to the bar, he knew thinking clearly, considering all he recently thought about was Carlos and the chocolate brown pools in his eyes, and the tinge of pink on his lips. 

The fight was intentional, he wanted to feel something other than longing for something he didn’t want and numbness over something he has lost. The bright light in the station gave him a headache and he was sure he had a busted lips and black eye. However, it was the police officer that sat before him that caused his heart to ache “seriously?” Carlos was the last person he needed to see at the time.

“Austin is a small town TK” his voice is cold and his gaze is piercing “or should I say Tyler Kennedy?” TK scroffs, he hates his full name. “bummer about getting arrested, people might find out your real name. Which marks the first real thing I’ve learnt about my soulmate”

“Isn’t you processing me, like a conflict of interest or something?” he looks up and the darkest in Carlos’ eyes. His heart is pounding in his chest as Carlos undoes the handcuff. 

“You’re free to go” Carlos hands him his stuff. No one was pressing charges so he had no reason to stick around yet he didn’t want to leave. Some of what Carlos says is lost to him, he’s too busy gazing at the officer hoping to see something other than a cold stare. 

“-that means you did this with a clear head” Carlos doesn’t look at him and he hates the awful twist in his gut. “look, I’m not trying to be your boyfriend or even your friend if you’re not in to that, but we have to talk about what we both know, the bond that we have and you should talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal” Carlos set a box of tissues down in front of him “got a little blood right there” he point to a spot on his lips.

TK pulled a few from the box and halfassed an attempt to wipe the blood away. “Otherside” he lifts his head to look at Carlos but he’s making himself busy with work. He tries again, another feeble attempt. “Stop” Carlos pulls the tissue from the box and whips the blood from TK’s lips. As the moments pass he tries to find a bit of courage to say something, anything that would take pained look from Carlos’ eyes.

“Thanks” he whispers softly and Carlos has already turned away from him “look, I’m sorry” he draws a deep breath to steady the pounding in his chest. “I thought I had met the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with, except he wasn’t the one and I still proposed” Carlos is looking at him again, his eyes full of pain and hint of regret and guilt “he met soulmate and it wrecked me, and then I relapsed”

“With me?” Carlos question is barely a whisper. 

“No” TK shakes his head “with substances” Carlos opens his mouth to say something but TK cuts him off “I almost died, my dad and my team in New York saved me, and I promised myself I would never open myself up to get hurt again, then I saw you and” TK laughed as the absurdity of it all, the play of fate that brought Carlos and him in each other’s path “I guess I tried to deny that this was real, but I can’t get you out of my head, you’re the only person that takes this numbness away, I’m sorry I didn’t give us a chance, you deserve so much better as a soulmate, someone that isn’t broken”

“You’re not broken Tyler and so what if you are, did you even consider that I might want all the pieces of you?”

“I was selfish”

“You were but I still want to try this, just give us a chance”

“Shift ends at 6pm tomorrow, I can’t cook you a fish but I know some great spots for burgers?” TK smiles hopeful. His heart feeling lighter when Carlos smiles up at him. 

“I will pick you up, and Tyler try not to get into too much trouble between now and then”


End file.
